You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
