I love black thongs
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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