I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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