I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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