whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
