either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
