I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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