I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
