I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
