with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
