He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
