wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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