Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
