My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
