Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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