All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize