Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
