Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
