oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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