Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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