i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
