im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
