Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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