just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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