remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
