I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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