My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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