dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
