Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I AM VODKA MAN
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
