K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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