This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
