i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
