the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Is it penis luge time yet?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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