i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We had to coat check the pizza.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
