Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Randomize
