i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
