actually, I'm a sock model
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
