The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
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