Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
