Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
