There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I got inside last night via doggy door
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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