Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
