Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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