I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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