It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
