Umm I'm too high to move.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
