Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
