ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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