All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
