My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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