that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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