doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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