Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize