So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
