so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
