I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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