Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
