you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
