Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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