He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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