On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
