I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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